Tuesday, January 24, 2012

TANTRUMS!!!!!

Supermarkets, shopping centres, pool, school, getting in or out of the car, at home THEY happen everywhere.....TANTRUMS!!!!!!!

We all know every kids throws tantrums, any mother that tells you their child has never is a LIAR!!!
 it is just the scale of the tantrum that is different.

A friend of mine once told me a story, she was in this very busy shopping mall i think just before xmas, her husband worked away and she had no family where they lived. So she was in this shopping centre with her twins who were close to 1, and her eldest who was maybe 3, and he didn't want to put shoe's on and chucked what sounded like the biggest tantrum ever in the middle of this shopping centre, so here she was with a pram with twins in it a child laying on the floor kicking legs screaming and crying .... WHAT TO DO?

She just tried talking to him but Sometimes you just cant compromise with a 3 year old. so she did what any good mother would do and said I'm going bye.... and started to walk off knowing very well he would follow when he knew she was actually leaving and she said the looks of disgrace she got from other mothers was phenomenal she said so many were looking at her and him shaking their heads, and giving her foul looks.

Obviously their children are perfect and have never thrown a tanty... pfft what ever!
I remember thinking how rude, if it were me id have looked at that mum and smiled and said something like, it happens to all of us and they do eventually grow out of it I'm told " and made that mum feel a little less embarrassed!

So i was riding with my boys the other day and there was this little boy who looked maybe 3-4 screaming and crying in the middle of the road, not far away was his maid following him telling him to come back inside, his response was NO!!!! and STOP FOLLOWING ME!!!!! bahahaha this went on for a good 15 Minutes, sorry but it was a laughing matter!!!

Then at the pool the other day this little girl was told time to go, well she didn't want to and made it clear to maybe the whole of balikpapan it went on for a good 15-20 min as well! I don't have to tell you if that was my kid she would be banned from the pool for a frigging week !!!

I have a great friend who when her little boy was 3 or 4 would get so hysterical when throwing tantrums they would have to put him in a cold shower to calm him down! nothing else worked for him time outs, taking toys, talking to him, nothing so try different things kids aren't all the same!

i think I'm quiet lucky, don't get me wrong iv had my fair share of tanty and still do, usually that boof got something that master t didn't, or master T got to watch more telly or they not sharing ahhhhhh BUT my littlest one throws the best by far!!! Buddha will make it very clear when he wants or doesn't want something, yesterday i was sitting on the lounge room floor trying to write an email WELL he wanted to hit the computer after saying very sternly NO a few hundred time's i moved him onto the step away from me, well the tears rolled, and then he stopped and came over to me and hit me, well i moved him away again and said NO! so he drops to the floor kicking his legs around, flinging his body everywhere for about 5 minutes.

Finally he stops and gets up and decides he gong down stairs to play still crying a little he walks to the top of the stairs and starts again hitting the wall well slipped and tumbled down about 6 steps, well didn't i feel like the worst mother in the world, so up jumps boof, then me, then master T all to check on Buddha, and he was screaming, the fall scared him more than being hurt but still anytime your child cries it tears your heart apart. S we are sitting at the dinner table last night and i tell Zed, chaise tumbled down nearly all of the stairs today all because he was chucking a tanty, and chaise looks up from his high chair with corn everywhere and giggle with this cheeky smile on his face ! he knew exactly what we were talking about! ha ha

A supermum i know recently had as her status on facebook "i now understand why some animals eat their young" hahahaha loved it

So moral of this blog lol is don't worry if you have a tanty throwing child in a shop- look around there is probably 5 mothers there that have had it before ! :) so keep smiling and just walk away! hahahahaha

Monday, January 23, 2012

Poor little man

Do you have a child that just gets all the bad luck? I do, master T, poor little man always is the one that gets hurt!

when he was 2 he was playing at grandma and Nana's and they have bessa block walls and the window sill in the lounge is really low and has a ledge on it on the inside they have long curtains that were closed at the time and they sat a bean bag in front of the window.

Master T was running and jumped on the bean bag on his tummy and whacked the window ledge with his forehead- 2 glues, and 5 stitches later and he has a scar on his forehead (this is how most people tell him apart from boof head.

We live on an acre back in Australia, so we have a little fire pit up the back (which the boys know not to go near) but this one day master T must have had a brain fart or something and decided to step in the hot coals he was 3 at this stage, so a trip to emergency and bandaging with cream for days and he recovered well, thanks to daddy's quick thinking, he picked him straight up and put his feet in the pool!!! :)

The boys are amazing on their quad's, little 4 wheeler motorbikes, they are such good riders except for this one day Tyler decided it might be a good idea to go up the hill on the side :( so the bike tipped and fell on top of him!!!! no damage done at all not even a scratch but he was a bit scared after that!

Last Night, day before the first day of school and the boys were riding back from the pool on their push bikes and master T decided to go over the speed bump 100 mile an hour and as i was driving behind i comeover the hill and here he is bike in the middle of the road and he up on the grass screaming mummy mummy. so put him and the bike in the car and drove home, A MESS he was. Taken massive chunks out of his knee, grazed his other on and grazed all up his tummy :( lucky he was wearing a helmet!!!!!!!!
So nearly a trip to hospital for a scrub and maybe stitches but mummy and daddy cleaned it up good!

So is there a pattern UMMM WELL YES I'M A BAD MOTHER!!!! pfft... NOT
I don't wrap my kids up in cotton wool, i let them actually get out and do stuff!!!! we teach our kids the best we can but only they can do it once they know how, we have to let go of the bike at some point :)

Thanks for reading
Tash x

Sunday, January 22, 2012

out and about borneo style

We go to a pub/restaurant called yulis here, it is right on the ocean and is owned by some of the nicest people we have met in Borneo, Bill and Yuli!

So Bill owns a couple of boats and is right into fishing so he asked Daddy Zed to go one weekend shortly after we arrived and please take Boof, and master T, Buddha is too little yet, because they go right out to the reef from like 1.30 -7pm onwards.

So the 3 BIG boys went out and went fishing came home knackered but they had a great time and caught some fish = win.

We were at Yulis the following week and and Bill came up to me and said "those boys of yours were so well behaved, polite and awesome fun. They are welcome on my boat anytime"

I love hearing things like that - make all the hard work and nagging seem worth it. Give you reassurance that what you are doing as a parent is working!

So the 3 Big boys have been out quiet a few time on Bills boat, so last week we decided to buy them their own rods, so we went to this little fishing shop and got them rods, reels, line, tackle box with tackle. VERY HAPPY BOYS!
They have been out 2 times since that and only master T has caught one fish! :(
last week end we set out to go to this amazing water park, Caribbean island water park, sound amazing, OK so we got there and anj a family friends sister we took said this isn't where we came the one we went to was better than this place, so we went in, the water quality was under average, the slides and stairs sounded and felt like they were going to collapse at any minute, there were people everywhere! the kids had a fun time anyway but we will be finding that other one soon.
We were going to go to the NEW FLASH water park today but it is raining, YES like Zed said to me what does it matter we just going to get wet anyway. But there is thunder and therefore lightning so that is keeping us at home today :(


So my big boys start school tomorrow. wow 5 days a week all day !!! what will i do with myself ha ha Iv had them at home with me for majority of the time for 5 and 1/2 years.They are such smart boys and they are so ready to head to school and start learning big and meeting new friends. they would be starting today but they have a public holiday today for CHINESE NEW YEAR?? hmmm
Zed has this great mate that works over here that he has known for years and year and use to work together and his family are moving over at the end of February so that is very exciting!

AUSTRALIA DAY is this Thursday, public holiday? not here  go figure! anyway we met a great new family on Friday and they having a big do at their house, so very excited for that!


Buddha LOVES his big brothers so much he follows them around and plays blocks and cars with them. and they love him so much in return its beautiful to see some things they do with him!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Over protective or just Smart?



OK so ALOT of people tell me I'm an over protective parent ... are they right or am i just being a mum?

So lets look at some statistics : 2008 - 2009 there were 350,000 cases of child abuse and neglect in Australia, now that was just reported cases and as it is well known MOST child abuse cases are not reported.
When we talk about sexual child abuse it is sad to say that most perpetrators are known and trusted by the child and parents, may even be in a position of power or authority, have easy access to children, and often have the trust of a child. They can be parents, grandparents, defacto or step-partners, older brothers and sisters, uncles, aunts, neighbours, teachers, childcare workers, babysitters or leaders in organizations such as sporting clubs and churches.\
We hear all too often about people in positions like mentioned above hurting our children.

OK then we talk about neglect, or physical or emotional abuse of a child, so the main perpetrators in this case is parents and then grand parents. WOW i was blown away with this,  but ill get to my emotional ramble further on.
only this week did we hear about a British mother left her 6 year old home alone for 5 day to fend for her self.
In Australia a mother agreed to starving her 5 children when they moved in with family, they were so starved that one of her little boys aged 5 passed out and was found to have a serious head injury later in hospital. How you ask can a MOTHER stand by and watch this happen to her children, little human beings that she carried and gave birth too? But we hear it all too often!

In bunderberg in 2010 a 8 year old girl was found in a drain, dead. A 19 year old friend of the parents was found to have broken into their home over night and taken the little girl and killed her.

We have numerous stories of teens killing other teens just to see what it feels like.

NOW THE RANTING BEGINS: OK seriously what the HELL are we doing to our children? is it bad parents having kids? is it video games that makes it OK to kill, bash and steal? Is it The movies that we allow our children to watch that desensitizes them or should they just know the difference and that that is bad behaviour and the wrong thing to do? We call them baddies but to kids they are glorified, in the world at the moment people are praised and rewarded for doing the wrong thing. hmm lets look at this for a minute:

A 14 year old Australian boy go's to Bali, he apparently has a known marijuana problem and gets caught buying pot! WOW OK so this is after the Bali 9, and when you get into Bali there are signs EVERYWHERE about drugs, shapell corby, hmmm Has this kids and his parents been under a rock for umm 10 years? i think not. So this 14 year old is now getting paid for his and parents story about his ordeal.... fair? i think NOT!

Boat people, don't fill in paper work and don't line up and proceed through the correct channels but when they arrive in Australia are moved to the front of the line, given health care, accommodation, a phone card, tv, computers, games and food. hmmm a pattern?

Right so now how do we teach our children that bad people that break the law and hurt people are punished? our Justis systems don't show that at all most offenders get slaps on the wrist's.

We have all these people that really want children that would give anything to have healthy children to love and treat right, when other people can have children abuse them and keep having them. they make it so hard and costly to adopt children that not many people can do it. We have all these great abused children sitting in "the system" waiting for a GOOD life and the authorities make it just TOO hard for that to happen.

So i freak out if i cant see my kids at a play ground, water park, riding around, shopping centers, the pub, i don't like them staying at peoples house's, doesn't matter who it is (except grandparents) i hate it when daddy takes them fishing on the reef (not that he doesn't look after them just cause I'm not there IF something happened) YES I'm over protective but seriously can you blame me?

It takes one bad decision, one second and they could be gone forever.
BUT they are by no means cotton wool babies, i let them do the roughest things kids do i just like to be there watching !

OK so in the past week or so i have heard some really sad stories about families loosing young children!
So Kim received a phone call from her sister in law that said I'm taking my kids camping for the weekend do you want me to take your girls? Kim rang her husband and he said yeah they should have a great time.
so she kept in contact with them all weekend and they were having a great time with their aunt and cousins.
On Sunday she got a phone call from her eldest daughter saying auntie is not driving right she is all over the road, she cant talk and is shaking, Kim asked her daughter to explain where they were the husband set of to where they were while Kim rang 911, but they were both too late the aunt had driven up a off ramp and ran head on into a 4x4 killing everyone in the car bar her son! later it was released that her blood alcohol limit was 4x the limit and she was off her face on pot!
So i ask you who do we trust with our children?
Part 2 to come (after iv calmed down a bit) :)

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Xmas and new year borneo style

Right so we moved into our new house!!! yay!
Its huge, plenty of room for the 5 of us! the layout is awesome! i have this whole room that is my pantry, I'm sure every other country does things on a ginormous scale but Australia!!!!!

anyway more on that later!
So Christmas was excellent! we had Zed's mum, grandad and grandma here from Australia, we had some great friends come to our house from here.
The boys were spoilt rotten - they got bikes which Daddy had to construct in the middle of the shop cause they had done them wrong, they got Nerf guns, clothes, DS's thanks to Santa Dr Wendy for picking them up in the states. oh and a Foosball table that we have been having plenty of family competitions on!
Zed and i got new bike as well and i got a new canon camera and have been clicking away since !
So i found the only HAM in balikpapan i think and it was awesome- have been looking for one ever since and can not get one! (Muslim country hard to find real ham, pork or bacon)
S all us ex pats enjoyed the "real" ham and i cooked this massive 6.6kilo turkey, Zed made his famous garlic prawns, and we had yep beetroot!!!!! YUUUUMMMMM!!!!

So xmas day was a huge success and new years was awesome they have traditions here! corn and fish on new years!

So the few days leading up to new years eve and the streets are lined with stalls and stalls of fresh fish and corn on the cobs.
OH AND STALLS AND STALLS OF FIREWORKS !!!!! FIREWORKS FIREWORKS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So needless to say that we bought massive amounts of fireworks-and let them off on xmas and new years there the only days you can let them off and not get into trouble!

so the boys have really settled in here, they are excited to start school and can not wait for there friends to come back from holidays! The holidays have been lots of bike riding, swimming, playing at the local game parlour. We went to the water park last weekend it has massive slides and stuff but the water didn't look so great so that's off our list next time but the kids had a great time although i wasn't game to put Buddha in as he was too little to have the injections we all had to combat the viruses you get from the water here! BUT there is apparently a better water park which we are going t find this weekend! :)

Tash x