People deal with loss in so many different ways.

Hey there,

Well just an update from our last post about our horrible miscarriage of lil oopsy.

So after a few weeks of crying at the drop of a hat, walking trough the nappy isle, seeing other people with babies, commercials on TV, I can finally control myself and not cry over everything to do with babies.

Don't get me wrong I am so thankful for the family we have, I am even more so now after what we went through, I mean we have 3 gorgeous, healthy, smart, talented boys whom we are so very proud of.  The thought that something could have gone wrong and we might not have one of them brings tears to my eyes.

The thing I don't get is no-one ever talks about loosing babies before they are born, its like it has to be a secret and to deal with that all alone would be awful. Now I'm a very open person, and I understand others are not so much, but I seriously don't think I could have managed to get through as well as I did without the support of all our friends and family... And it make me sad to think some woman go through it alone and then not to talk about it as it is a debut subject is CRAZY to me.

Anyway, so when i arrived back in Australia my mummy and i went off to get some ink at http://www.secondskintattoo.com.au. Im so happy with the work.

My Tattoo to remember our Lil Oopsy. <3

My Mum's Tattoo for Lil Oopsy 

                                                Anyway, so people ask me what about when your old and the Tattoo's don't look any good? Well my answer comes in 2 parts, 1, at 80 years old am i really going to care what they look like? 2, my body will show good times and bad, loss and gain, happy things and sad things to remind me of what a great life i have lived. 

Ok well thats a Goodbye from me for now. 

Mumma_T xx

                                             

The hardest week of our lives....

Our 3 beautiful healthy boys.

One of the worse weeks of our lives.

It’s been a very long time between blogs but I have had a very exciting, BUSY and sad year.

So Zed and I have just been through one of the hardest weeks of our lives and it is the first thing I’d like to Blog about because it amazed me how many couples and families go through it and don't talk about it.

So around the end of January Zed had been away and we had ‘happy hour’ the night he returned (we drank and chatted a lot).

So there was a little slip up in the bedroom, if you know what I mean ... now this didn't worry me.  It actually didn't even cross my mind as when we were trying to conceive Buddha it took us nearly one year.

So about six weeks after, I was late. I'm not normally late. In fact, I am normally spot on (so my husband informs me).

So I am speaking to Zed on the phone as he is on his way to Vietnam and is in transit in Singapore. I say to him, “I’ve been feeling a bit queasy (there was a bug going around) and I'm late. I might just take a test to put my mind at ease.” To which he replies, “I’ve been freaking out since we had that slip up.” 

Now just a little history. After we had Buddha I really wanted to try for a girl, but Zed wasn't keen as I was so sick in and out of hospital when I was pregnant.  After much nagging we decided that we were happy with our three boys. This happened about six to 12 months before our little slip up so I had accepted the fact that this was it and we were happy with our amazing three boys.

So off I go to the apotec (pharmacy), get a test, come home, peed on the little stick and there right before my eyes in like 2.2 seconds was two little pink lines. OMG!!!! 

My first thought was “oh my, we don't have anything and we are in a country where it is extremely hard to get baby stuff.” 

Second thought was “holy crap I have to tell Zed.” So I called Zed and told him while he was in Singapore in transit.

Let’s be honest we were both feeling a little sick, we had a lot on both our minds at the time and we thought we were done having kids. 

After a week Zed returned home and we were both starting to get excited about the new addition. So we told our closest friends and family. We also told our three boys. We were on holiday in Bali when we told them. They weren't excited to start with but then became super excited after a week of letting it sink in. 

Our three boys and I had a discussion one night in the lounge room a week or two after we told them about babies etc, and one of them asks what happens if a baby dies before its born? Then we had a talk about miscarriage and still Born's etc. 

Then Zed left again after one day later to head up to PNG, for two weeks. We worked out we were around six weeks, on time hop it came up that we announced Buddhas pregnancy the same day at four weeks so we decided to announce it on Facebook. I have never been a believer in waiting the 12 week mark. If you are going to lose a baby it doesn't matter who knows, and when and if it happens at least you have support. I also think you may jinx yourself. 

So I was feeling nausea all day but no vomiting at all and craving sweet foods (with my boys I was in and out of hospital with such bad all day vomiting) so we were convinced this was a little girl. We had the idea how to tell everyone what we were having by getting the OBGYN to write it on a piece of paper and I was going to get my girlfriends to put whichever colour balloons in a box and Zed and I would have a photo shoot while we open the box on the beach. We were going to buy the boys a cake for them to cut into to find pink or blue. 

Zed was getting so excited that, when he went to have a look at our potential next location, he sent a photo of all the high chairs lined up with a tag line, “they cater for little ones.“ He also told me “when she is older we will have to move to a country where I can have a gun, even with three big brothers.” I replied, “it will be their friends we have to watch. :)” 

 I had already been on eBay looking at prams, capsules, cots and bedding.

So around the 7.5 week mark I had heard loads of bad reports of so many people having miscarriages here in Indonesia for what reasons we don't know. So, even though I had a trip to Singapore to see a OBGYN to have a scan and blood test for the gender and medical checks around the 10 week mark, I went to the local hospital (which is far less than impressive) just to have a scan and see the heartbeat. 

Zed was still away, so I went in by myself, thinking everything would be ok. 

I went to see the OBGYN, and had a scan. The OBGYN said that she should be able to see the heart beat at this stage and couldn’t so I came home and cried. But we all know that the doctors there are not the same as doctors in western countries so I pulled myself together and planned my trip to Singapore early. The OBGYN in Singapore told me not to worry if I didn't have cramps or spotting or bleeding. So I was still worrying but I pushed it to the back of my mind and tried to think positive. 

So Zed gets back on Friday night and we head to Singapore on Sunday. I had an appointment on Monday at 12.30pm. 

I had a dentist appointment at 10am then I strolled through the shops and bought some tops for my coming pregnancy. I looked at some baby clothes and saw the cutest baby girl Haviannas, but refrained from buying them, just in case we were wrong and it was a boy.

Zed was in Singapore for a training course and I really wanted him to meet me at 12 for the appointment. I asked him and told him it was important to me and, in case it was bad news, I didn't want to be by myself. He couldn't make it, his work ethic is so strong and it is something I admire about him so much but something that really annoys me at times because work always come first. Also in his mind everything was going to be ok. Nothing was going to be wrong. Don't get me wrong, he is amazing. He goes to everything the kids have at school from performances and assembles to sports carnivals and swim meets. He just didn't think this was a big deal. 

So off I go to the OBGYN alone. I sat waited. Did the pee test. Waited some more. Then i was called through. We did the standard questions and then it was time for a scan, internally (not what I had at the local hospital).

Laying there the OBGYN says to me, “ok, there is the arms, there is the legs, oh there’s the profile and its face. There’s its rump, ok let’s see a heartbeat…..”  Waiting… waiting… waiting to see a blink somewhere on the screen… and nothing…….

I felt my eyes leaking, my heart pounding and beginning to break…..  The OBGYN says to me “I'm so sorry but I'm going to have to agree with the doctor in Indonesia.” “What does that mean?” i sobbed.

She replied “get dressed and we will talk.” 

Feeling lonely, broken and extremely sad, I got dressed and sat in the chair crying, trying not to, trying to listen and understand what was being told to me. Among the ‘noise’ coming from her mouth, all I got was “D & C tomorrow….” I just wanted to scream, cry and hide. 

She then told me to go in the waiting room while they tried to organise an appointment for surgery tomorrow. Crying uncontrollably I sat in the waiting room among all these pregnant woman so I decided to escape to the toilet and ring Zed. I called him. I couldn't talk. I just cried, he said “omg babe are you ok?” “Do you want me to come there now?” To which I sobbed “what’s the point? The hard part is over.” Looking back I really needed him by my side, but I was so angry that he wasn't there holding my hand when this happened, that I never thought how he must be feeling at his work training course hearing this horrible news that we had lost the baby we were both so excited to have.

Next I called my mum. She will make me feel better. As soon as I heard my mum’s voice, I broke down even more, I think I yelled and cried, and flopped to the floor. I could barely stand. I had nothing. After talking with my mum, I didn't feel better as I thought I would. I thought she would have an answer. I thought she could make it better but NOTHING was going to fix what had happened: nothing or no one. 

So i splashed myself with water, took a hand full of toilet paper and headed back to the OBGYN room. I sat and cried and cried while they continued my paper work for the following day surgery. 

Then the OBGYN comes and says to me, “for tomorrow you will need to wear something loose, bring pads, insert these tablets into your vagina two hours before and fast from 8.30am.” That won’t be hard because I don't think I’ll feel like eating. I had only packed a bag for one night so I only had my jeans and plane clothes. Now i had to be here a few extra days. If it was under any other circumstances I’d be in heaven being told I have to stay in Singapore (one of my favourite places in the world) for a few days more and, on top of that, go shopping for new clothes but that was not the case this time. 

Then I was sent to pathology to have bloods taken in preparation for the surgery the next day. I had to sit in a room uncontrollably crying ALONE amongst around 30 people and wait for about one hour. Nowhere to hide. Nowhere to go. No one to hide my crying face into. 

So I had bloods and started walking back to the hotel. It was all a blur. All I could think was “how dare you. I wanted one more baby for so long then I was settled. I was happy with my perfect healthy three boys then, oh here you go, have the baby you wanted for so long. Oh no, just joking you can’t have it…..” I was so SAD. I don't think had ever been so sad in my whole life. 

So I arrive back to the hotel room to find a note from Zed, “I have gone looking for you. xxx” So I rung him and told him where I was. He returned not long after the phone call, and he and I just cuddled and cried. How did I think I was going to cope alone? That was crazy thinking. My rock, my soul mate, my husband: that’s what I needed. 

So that afternoon and evening, we spent crying and cuddling for hours. I tried to take my mind off it all with television. Zed tried working on his computer and we would both just burst into tears. My whole face was puffy, my nose was continuously blocked and I was SAD. I was so sad that this had happened to me. I had lost a baby, no matter how old or how far along, I had lost a child that I had never had the chance to meet that I never had the chance to hold, feed or kiss but I loved this baby. I cared for this baby. I wanted this baby. We all wanted this baby. This was so unfair. I was sad! I was so very sad! 

My D & C was booked for the following day at 3.30 pm but I had lots of prep to do before it. I had to go and buy something to wear that wasn't tight. I had to buy pads. I had to get nail polish remover, undies and then had to be back at the hotel at 12.30 to insert these tablets that open your cervix. They also cause bleeding and cramps.

So we went out and got what we needed to get then returned to the hotel. We were both just numb dreading what had to happen later that day, trying not to think of it. While we were in the hotel room, the phone rang. It was the OBGYN’s office. They had to push me back an hour.  Oh no another hour to wait… GREAT, as if all day waiting wasn't bad enough. 

My husband never left my side that day or the next. I couldn't have done this without him. 

So it came time to leave for the hospital. In hysterics, my husband loaded me in the taxi and we headed off to what was going to be one of the hardest days of my life. Standing in front of the hospital doors, I could only think, “what if i don't go in? What if they were wrong? If I don't go in and go home, would it all be ok?” Silly huh? Well I didn't want it to be over. I didn't want to lose my baby so my mind was clenching at straws. With the support from my husband, we walked in. We went to the registration counter and I couldn't even talk to the woman that called us up. I was a blubbering mess. Zed found strength that day that we both needed. Like I said, I couldn't have done it without him. 

We waited in the waiting room for what felt like an eternity. I cried the whole time. Then we were registered, the nurse came to get us, walked us through to our room and gave me instructions on what was going to happen. I still couldn't stop crying. 

Our little oopsy
Never in my arms but always in our hearts.

Zed sat by my bed side and we watched some car show (I think) it was all kind of a blur. Then they came to wheel me away, crying harder than I had since I found out initially the day before. I kissed my husband goodbye and saw tears welling in his eyes for what I think was the first time since leaving the hotel that afternoon. 

They wheeled me down the corridor off to the surgery room and we pulled up in a corridor to wait for approval to head in. We went in then I was put in another waiting room in front of a TV where I watched the same car show zed and I were watching just before. Then the anesthetist came and told me what would happen, put in an IV, and then not long after, they wheeled me into the operating room where I saw my OBGYN, and she said how sorry she was again. Then the anesthetist appeared and begun to put me to sleep. 

I then woke in recovery ALONE. I felt empty. I felt like a part of me was missing. I felt SAD. I felt numb. 

I then woke properly and they wheeled me back to my beautiful husband who was sitting in the same spot as I left him some two hours prior. 

I then had to eat and drink and then at around 8pm was allowed to leave to go back to our hotel room. I was numb. I went back and got into bed where I planned to stay. 

I fell asleep watching some crap on tv (crying, yes, I cried A LOT). 

When we woke, we packed up our room and went to breakfast, even though neither of us felt like eating. We then went to see the OBGYN and she explained what we needed to expect for the next two months. She explained that they have no idea why these things happen then she gave us the pictures from the ultrasound taken two days before. Zed lost it: he was in tears as was I. Now to head home to hug our three boys and deal with telling them. The boys were sad, one cried for about 30 minutes, one let out a few tears and Buddha was just too young to understand. But one sweet thing was one said “Lucky you didn't die too mummy.” Our driver’s wife had died about two years ago when she miscarried.

 So then I decided to post something on Facebook informing everyone that we had lost our baby. Because I didn't want someone coming to me saying, “oh, how’s the pregnancy, how you feeling, etc, etc?” The amount of my friends that have had this happen to them is amazing, and I didn't even know. Some friend are close friends. My next question is why don't we talk about these things? Where do these women and husbands find support if they don't tell anyone? 

I am so thankful to have three healthy, perfect boys. It makes me feel so lucky after what we have been through. 

I also thought how lucky we were that we didn't move to Indonesia as planned when we found out we were pregnant with Buddha. We may very well have lost him. The miscarriage rate in this country is phenomenal.

Children and Accidents

So our boys are very much boys, they ride motorbike, the run a hundred mile an hour, they play lots of sport, and never slow down.

So like any normal full on child they always have bruised chins stubbed toes, scrapped knees and elbows.

So Buddha following the tradition of his big brothers RUNS everywhere, never walks, the other night I said to Zed, will you be right playing with Buddha for a hour while me and the big boys go to the gym (in our complex)? He said yeah we will be fine. So the big boys and I jogged up to the gym, I had done one exercise and there is a knock at the door.

Opened it up and here is Zed and Buddha standing there, covered in blood. Oh my god, what happened? Zed nearly in tears tells me "Buddha and me where playing chase around the lounge room" (a daily activity in our house) "and he tripped on the doona behind the lounge and head butted the coffee table".

The doonas we have behind the lounge because it’s freezing in our house we have aircon 24/7 and the stupid little coffee table I only moved there the other day. :(

So we all had blood everywhere by the time we got home, he probably could have done with a few stitches but Zed and I made up some homemade butterflies stitches and pulled it together and it came together pretty well.

Master T did the same thing when he was a little older, head butted Grandmas window sill had to have a few stitches in the exact same place, so they will have the same scar same size and shape.

TASH xx

MEAL TIMES AND KIDS

I think every parent can relate to this one.

I thought I was so lucky, the twins use to eat so well and quickly, and then BOOM all of a sudden we have to nag, and it takes like hours to finish a meal, you know they should eat it, and you know they haven’t had enough......BUT seriously how far do you have to go?

 

I came across this website today www.neat2eat.com.au, it’s a site that shows you how you can make your kids food fun.

They also sell things to help you achieve this like shaped cutters that you can use for sandwiches, fruit, vegetables, cheese, and moulds for boiled eggs. Lunch boxes you get the idea.

Ok so I’m a pretty TOUGH mum, when it comes to eating and health being from back ground of fitness this makes sense. if I make something good for the kids to eat they eat it, I don’t fart around and try and make it fun or “play” with food, they eat what I put in front of them and all of it, I wouldn’t give them more than they needed and I wouldn’t give them something gross. So is this bad parenting, is it too tough?

I believe that that is why my kids aren’t picky, I have let them leave the table without finishing but that means nothing more to eat or drink that night and no treats, junk or fizzy the following day.

I feel so sorry for the mothers that have really picky children, I am not sure I could cope. But hopefully some of you will get some help on kids lunches from http://www.neat2eat.com.au/.

We have friends of ours that little boys would only eat sausages and chips pretty much, oh and strawberry milk. This went on for A LONG time then they started dishing him up other foods (little bits) and if he didn’t try it or eat it they would put it in the fridge and if he got hungry later that’s what he would be offered NOTHING else, I have heard of this a couple times before and it seems to have worked for him. YAY!

So when I saw this website today www.neat2eat.com.au my first thought was OMG who has the time? Then my second thought was shouldn’t kids just eat because their hungry and know the importance of good food? Then I thought oh how cool is that I want to do that!!! Ha ha ha

 I do know mothers out there that would do this every day, so I hope some of you are reading my blog!!!!

Since moving to Indonesia (as you know if you have read my blog previously) its very hard to get certain foods here, bread, eggs are not the greatest, yogurt, wholemeal or wholegrain is not available :(

So its been really hard to do the boys lunches, i a very fussy when it comes to everyday eating for the children, so i will be using some of these ideas for the next term of school.

Then on the other hand i can imagine that some children would get use to it everyday and not eat normal or plain food.

I’d like you to share your children’s eating habits and problems and how you fixed them with us, comment below, can’t wait to read some J

WHATEVER WORKS AND MAKES YOUR JOB AS A PARENT EASIER IS THE WAY TO GO :)

AFFIRMATIONS- POSITIVE THINKING

Hello everyone, I'm going to share a post from a friend of mines blog that i absolutely LOVE i think it would be a great one for all the mums to read and implement in their house hold. i am in the middle of getting ours together so we can say them every morning together and every night together kids included!!!

So my friend Possum's blog as follows if you wanna check out any of her other awesome post's you can find her @ http://purelypossum.posterous.com/

“An affirmation opens the door. It’s a beginning point on the path to change.”

– Louise Hay

 

I talk to myself a lot. Most of the time I do it in my head, but some times I will do it out loud. The latter is usually only in the company of my dog. I’m not crazy. Not by clinical standards, anyway. I simply understand the power my words and thoughts have over my life. Constantly repeating positive affirmations has had a major effect on my life.

According to Dr Bruce Lipton, most of our beliefs are formed when we are children. Perhaps it was said that you are stupid, lazy, selfish, or shy. This affirmation would have left an imprint in your mind, during the years that are most formative. And then these unwholesome statements can stay with you in the conscious or unconscious mind, only to be reinforced throughout the rest of your life. Unless you do something about it. The core beliefs that we have in this moment are the results of our past experiences – things we heard, things we’ve seen, and things we were told. This doesn’t make them real though.

The unconscious mind cannot tell the difference between a real or imagined idea, so it responds to whatever suggestions you give it. So, if you’re constantly telling yourself that you are stupid, fat, lazy, or shy – that is the reality you are going to create for yourself.

The awesome and empowering part of this is that we can turn it all around. When we are aware of the mind’s powerful ability to create whatever it is we tell it to, we can go ahead and do just that.

By repeating positive affirmations you can actually retrain your mind to create a reality that matches your goals.

By changing your perception, you change your reality. It all starts with the thoughts you think. These thoughts become your feelings, these feelings become your vibration and your vibration ultimately becomes your life. It is your vibration that determines whether you are attracting what you want into your life or not. So, as simple as they are, affirmations can transform every aspect of our lives including our health, relationships and success.

How to make affirmations work

For affirmations to be effective they must be written in the first person, be in the present tense, be goal orientated and be written as though they have already been achieved. So don’t go around saying things like “I wish” or “I will” or “I want”. You need to act as if.

You affirmations must be followed through with some kind of supporting action. You need to walk your talk. There’s no point in affirming that you’re a Power Ranger if you’re not prepared to go out and hire a coloured suit and helmet.

Here are some of the affirmations I repeat every day:

• I have a perfectly healthy body and mind
• I am healing now
• I love and approve of myself
• Abundance flows into my life in surprising ways every day
• Life flows effortlessly
• All my relationships are harmonious

How have affirmations helped me?

My best friend was into affirmations well before I was, so when I first was diagnosed with cancer, she told me to start repeating them. And so I did. Ever since that eventful day back in April 2008, I have been telling myself, “I have a perfectly healthy body and mind”. At first it was hard to believe, what with all the doctors telling me that I was going to be an amputee and most probably die before I saw my mid twenties. But I stuck with it. Whenever I was in a machine having a scan, or waiting to see the doctor, or hooked up to a vitamin C infusion drip; I would repeat this affirmation over and over and over again. The affirmation was my anchor among the craziness of that time, and to this day I have that same statement on mental repeat.

On a less serious note, affirmations have also allowed me to see that I am not actually a shy person. I am an introvert, sure. But I’m not as shy as I have always thought I am. Simply by repeating, “I love and approve of myself” I seem to have given myself permission to come out of my shell. I am proud of my personality, I am no longer intimidated by situations where I’m out of my comfort zone, and I no longer want to throw up at the thought of speaking in public.

Add power to your positivity

Repeat your affirmations as often as possible. The more you repeat them, the deeper they will be ingrained into your mind, and the faster they will be implemented in your subconscious.

You can speak them out loud, repeat them to yourself, write them down over and over again in a journal and write them on post it notes and stick them all over your house. I have mine written on the mirror in my bathroom, inside my diary, on my computer screen saver, on my vision board, and I even set reminders on my phone throughout the day so I am randomly greeted with something telling me “You look beautiful today, Jessica!”

 

Today's post is by Jess Ainscough. Jess is an Australian writer, blogger and certified holistic health coach. Via my e-books, daily blog posts, and videos, her goal is to empower people to take control of their health and show that the quality of their lives is directly linked to how people treat their body and mind. Each day she uses this online soapbox to preach all about natural health and healing, organic beauty, meditation, inspirational bits and pieces and delicious, healthy organic plant-based wholefoods. Check her out at www.thewellnesswarrior.com.au

So i hope you have enjoyed this as much as i did, i think it cant be great for kids to start something like this now! i will keep you up to date with how we are going when we start tomorrow.

MUMMA T XXX

THE THINGS KIDS KNOW THAT WE DONT.

A few nights ago the twins were getting ready for bed in their room after a shower, and daddy went and stood out side their door and was listening to their conversation, Boof was telling master T, "don't you know what a download is"? and Master T replied "No, how do you know what it is", "oh i saw it at Miss L's house" replies Boof, Master T replies "oh i didn't see it" Boof says "oh you want me to take a photo of it so you know what it is next time we are at Miss L's?"  Master T "oh yes please"

HAHAHAHA

I was at miss L"s place the other day and there was a little boy (lets call him m7)over from across the street and a few other kids, and one of the little boys were wearing a girls shirt and m7 says oh he looks like a gay.
Miss L says (playing dumb) "oh m7 whats a gay"? m7 replies "oh i cant talk about it, it gross" miss L says "oh OK i don't know what a gay is" to which m7 replies " its where a man and a man do the S word" miss L replies "oh is it?" m7 says "yeah i told you it was gross"

HAHAHAHA 

Our friend have recently taken their little sister into their care here (lets call her Miss A), she is from Laos and we were in the car with her and she and another 8 yr old little girl (Miss T)we ad with us were talking about what they were going to be when they grew up. Miss T said "my brother is going to be a pilot" Miss A replies "I'm going to get married and stay at home while my husband works, and then we will have children and ill look after them at home." I say "what if you don't find a husband?" to which Miss A says "i will".
I then say "don't you want to work"? That's not what woman do " she says

HAHAHA
You cant blame Miss A cause that is what she See's all us expat wives that stay at home and look after the children, and the men go off to work..... :)

And JUST this morning, the boys were asked to go fishing, its a miserable day raining and dark, so i say "i don't think its a good idea for the twins to go, they will end up with a cold" Master T replies "mum we can take a towel, hey daddy" "and wear long sleeve rashey's" adds Boof.

If you have a funny story that a child has said please comment below id love to hear about it!

TOO BUSY!!!! kids spell LOVE , TIME

I think we have all done it as people, "Just wait a minute I'm just doing....."  "no i cant come to lunch because I'm cleaning the house" and i think as parents we say it way too often.

Iv been thinking lately, and what i have come up with is really upsetting to me. It seems that we as parents are all TOO BUSY to do things with our children, we put them in front of video games to keep them quiet, and tell them in a minute heaps. But does that minute ever come up? and are we happy when and if it does?

We need to spend quality time with our children because they aren't going to want t play or spend time with us forever.

i once found this poem which i tried to live by when i had the twins, i thought it was a great excuse as to why my house was always messy and nothing done, BUT the truth is i just rather play with my boys.

A recipe for all mothers. xxx
Today i left some dishes dirty, the bed i made at 3.30 
The nappies soaked a little longer, the odour grew stronger.
The crumbs i spilt the day before are staring at me from the floor.
The fingerprints, there on the wall, will still be there next fall.
The dirty streaks in the window panes, will still be there next time it rains.
"shame on you old lazy-bones" i say
"and just what have you done, today?"

I nursed a baby till he slept, i held a toddler while he wept.
I played a game of hide and seek, i squeezed a toy, so it would squeak.
I pulled a wagon, sang a song, Taught a child right from wrong.
What did i do this whole day through?
Not much that shows, i guess its true...
Unless you think that what I've done might be inportant to someone
with bright blue eyes and soft blonde hair
if that is true, I've done my share!!!

Joanna Green ...



when i was pregnant everyone would tell me, Leave the mess it will still be there tomorrow, so i did. BUT what i found out was that meanwhile everyone telling me that they were at home madly cleaning to have their house spotless..... it was so easy for me to leave the mess because i had these beautiful children that wanted to play with me.

But now that we have so much organising and crap going on (and blogs to write) lol i find my self saying in a minute - ALOT.

So I'm going to try something new in my house..... I'M BANNING "IN A MINUTE" or "later" or "I'm busy" and I'm going to drop everything at that minute and do what my kids ask of me!!!!!!
Don't get me wrong we do alot of thing together, games, reading, swimming, karate, colouring in, but not everyday, i want to be involved in their lives in a happy positive way EVERY MINUTE i can!

I think I'm finding it even harder that they are at school everyday now, i know that's what is meant to happen, but i don't like it ha ha ha ha , i want them home with me maybe I'm selfish. but at the end of the day there is not much time after school, sport, dinner, home work, bath........ time for bed.

So from now on daddy and i are going to stop what we are doing and play with the kids no matter what!!!! :)

So i want you to listen to yorself next time your child ask's you to do something with them...

AND SAY YES!!!! :) happy playing

TANTRUMS!!!!!

Supermarkets, shopping centres, pool, school, getting in or out of the car, at home THEY happen everywhere.....TANTRUMS!!!!!!!

We all know every kids throws tantrums, any mother that tells you their child has never is a LIAR!!!
 it is just the scale of the tantrum that is different.

A friend of mine once told me a story, she was in this very busy shopping mall i think just before xmas, her husband worked away and she had no family where they lived. So she was in this shopping centre with her twins who were close to 1, and her eldest who was maybe 3, and he didn't want to put shoe's on and chucked what sounded like the biggest tantrum ever in the middle of this shopping centre, so here she was with a pram with twins in it a child laying on the floor kicking legs screaming and crying .... WHAT TO DO?

She just tried talking to him but Sometimes you just cant compromise with a 3 year old. so she did what any good mother would do and said I'm going bye.... and started to walk off knowing very well he would follow when he knew she was actually leaving and she said the looks of disgrace she got from other mothers was phenomenal she said so many were looking at her and him shaking their heads, and giving her foul looks.

Obviously their children are perfect and have never thrown a tanty... pfft what ever!
I remember thinking how rude, if it were me id have looked at that mum and smiled and said something like, it happens to all of us and they do eventually grow out of it I'm told " and made that mum feel a little less embarrassed!

So i was riding with my boys the other day and there was this little boy who looked maybe 3-4 screaming and crying in the middle of the road, not far away was his maid following him telling him to come back inside, his response was NO!!!! and STOP FOLLOWING ME!!!!! bahahaha this went on for a good 15 Minutes, sorry but it was a laughing matter!!!

Then at the pool the other day this little girl was told time to go, well she didn't want to and made it clear to maybe the whole of balikpapan it went on for a good 15-20 min as well! I don't have to tell you if that was my kid she would be banned from the pool for a frigging week !!!

I have a great friend who when her little boy was 3 or 4 would get so hysterical when throwing tantrums they would have to put him in a cold shower to calm him down! nothing else worked for him time outs, taking toys, talking to him, nothing so try different things kids aren't all the same!

i think I'm quiet lucky, don't get me wrong iv had my fair share of tanty and still do, usually that boof got something that master t didn't, or master T got to watch more telly or they not sharing ahhhhhh BUT my littlest one throws the best by far!!! Buddha will make it very clear when he wants or doesn't want something, yesterday i was sitting on the lounge room floor trying to write an email WELL he wanted to hit the computer after saying very sternly NO a few hundred time's i moved him onto the step away from me, well the tears rolled, and then he stopped and came over to me and hit me, well i moved him away again and said NO! so he drops to the floor kicking his legs around, flinging his body everywhere for about 5 minutes.

Finally he stops and gets up and decides he gong down stairs to play still crying a little he walks to the top of the stairs and starts again hitting the wall well slipped and tumbled down about 6 steps, well didn't i feel like the worst mother in the world, so up jumps boof, then me, then master T all to check on Buddha, and he was screaming, the fall scared him more than being hurt but still anytime your child cries it tears your heart apart. S we are sitting at the dinner table last night and i tell Zed, chaise tumbled down nearly all of the stairs today all because he was chucking a tanty, and chaise looks up from his high chair with corn everywhere and giggle with this cheeky smile on his face ! he knew exactly what we were talking about! ha ha

A supermum i know recently had as her status on facebook "i now understand why some animals eat their young" hahahaha loved it

So moral of this blog lol is don't worry if you have a tanty throwing child in a shop- look around there is probably 5 mothers there that have had it before ! :) so keep smiling and just walk away! hahahahaha

Poor little man

Do you have a child that just gets all the bad luck? I do, master T, poor little man always is the one that gets hurt!

when he was 2 he was playing at grandma and Nana's and they have bessa block walls and the window sill in the lounge is really low and has a ledge on it on the inside they have long curtains that were closed at the time and they sat a bean bag in front of the window.

Master T was running and jumped on the bean bag on his tummy and whacked the window ledge with his forehead- 2 glues, and 5 stitches later and he has a scar on his forehead (this is how most people tell him apart from boof head.

We live on an acre back in Australia, so we have a little fire pit up the back (which the boys know not to go near) but this one day master T must have had a brain fart or something and decided to step in the hot coals he was 3 at this stage, so a trip to emergency and bandaging with cream for days and he recovered well, thanks to daddy's quick thinking, he picked him straight up and put his feet in the pool!!! :)

The boys are amazing on their quad's, little 4 wheeler motorbikes, they are such good riders except for this one day Tyler decided it might be a good idea to go up the hill on the side :( so the bike tipped and fell on top of him!!!! no damage done at all not even a scratch but he was a bit scared after that!

Last Night, day before the first day of school and the boys were riding back from the pool on their push bikes and master T decided to go over the speed bump 100 mile an hour and as i was driving behind i comeover the hill and here he is bike in the middle of the road and he up on the grass screaming mummy mummy. so put him and the bike in the car and drove home, A MESS he was. Taken massive chunks out of his knee, grazed his other on and grazed all up his tummy :( lucky he was wearing a helmet!!!!!!!!
So nearly a trip to hospital for a scrub and maybe stitches but mummy and daddy cleaned it up good!

So is there a pattern UMMM WELL YES I'M A BAD MOTHER!!!! pfft... NOT
I don't wrap my kids up in cotton wool, i let them actually get out and do stuff!!!! we teach our kids the best we can but only they can do it once they know how, we have to let go of the bike at some point :)

Thanks for reading
Tash x

Over protective or just Smart?

OK so ALOT of people tell me I'm an over protective parent ... are they right or am i just being a mum?

So lets look at some statistics : 2008 - 2009 there were 350,000 cases of child abuse and neglect in Australia, now that was just reported cases and as it is well known MOST child abuse cases are not reported.
When we talk about sexual child abuse it is sad to say that most perpetrators are known and trusted by the child and parents, may even be in a position of power or authority, have easy access to children, and often have the trust of a child. They can be parents, grandparents, defacto or step-partners, older brothers and sisters, uncles, aunts, neighbours, teachers, childcare workers, babysitters or leaders in organizations such as sporting clubs and churches.\
We hear all too often about people in positions like mentioned above hurting our children.

OK then we talk about neglect, or physical or emotional abuse of a child, so the main perpetrators in this case is parents and then grand parents. WOW i was blown away with this,  but ill get to my emotional ramble further on.
only this week did we hear about a British mother left her 6 year old home alone for 5 day to fend for her self.
In Australia a mother agreed to starving her 5 children when they moved in with family, they were so starved that one of her little boys aged 5 passed out and was found to have a serious head injury later in hospital. How you ask can a MOTHER stand by and watch this happen to her children, little human beings that she carried and gave birth too? But we hear it all too often!

In bunderberg in 2010 a 8 year old girl was found in a drain, dead. A 19 year old friend of the parents was found to have broken into their home over night and taken the little girl and killed her.

We have numerous stories of teens killing other teens just to see what it feels like.

NOW THE RANTING BEGINS: OK seriously what the HELL are we doing to our children? is it bad parents having kids? is it video games that makes it OK to kill, bash and steal? Is it The movies that we allow our children to watch that desensitizes them or should they just know the difference and that that is bad behaviour and the wrong thing to do? We call them baddies but to kids they are glorified, in the world at the moment people are praised and rewarded for doing the wrong thing. hmm lets look at this for a minute:

A 14 year old Australian boy go's to Bali, he apparently has a known marijuana problem and gets caught buying pot! WOW OK so this is after the Bali 9, and when you get into Bali there are signs EVERYWHERE about drugs, shapell corby, hmmm Has this kids and his parents been under a rock for umm 10 years? i think not. So this 14 year old is now getting paid for his and parents story about his ordeal.... fair? i think NOT!

Boat people, don't fill in paper work and don't line up and proceed through the correct channels but when they arrive in Australia are moved to the front of the line, given health care, accommodation, a phone card, tv, computers, games and food. hmmm a pattern?

Right so now how do we teach our children that bad people that break the law and hurt people are punished? our Justis systems don't show that at all most offenders get slaps on the wrist's.

We have all these people that really want children that would give anything to have healthy children to love and treat right, when other people can have children abuse them and keep having them. they make it so hard and costly to adopt children that not many people can do it. We have all these great abused children sitting in "the system" waiting for a GOOD life and the authorities make it just TOO hard for that to happen.

So i freak out if i cant see my kids at a play ground, water park, riding around, shopping centers, the pub, i don't like them staying at peoples house's, doesn't matter who it is (except grandparents) i hate it when daddy takes them fishing on the reef (not that he doesn't look after them just cause I'm not there IF something happened) YES I'm over protective but seriously can you blame me?

It takes one bad decision, one second and they could be gone forever.
BUT they are by no means cotton wool babies, i let them do the roughest things kids do i just like to be there watching !

OK so in the past week or so i have heard some really sad stories about families loosing young children!
So Kim received a phone call from her sister in law that said I'm taking my kids camping for the weekend do you want me to take your girls? Kim rang her husband and he said yeah they should have a great time.
so she kept in contact with them all weekend and they were having a great time with their aunt and cousins.
On Sunday she got a phone call from her eldest daughter saying auntie is not driving right she is all over the road, she cant talk and is shaking, Kim asked her daughter to explain where they were the husband set of to where they were while Kim rang 911, but they were both too late the aunt had driven up a off ramp and ran head on into a 4x4 killing everyone in the car bar her son! later it was released that her blood alcohol limit was 4x the limit and she was off her face on pot!
So i ask you who do we trust with our children?
Part 2 to come (after iv calmed down a bit) :)

SICK KIDS BACK TO BACK

OK thought we were doing really well the only one of us that has been sick is Daddy Zed, the runs, then backed up for over a week then he decided to eat this shifty GOAT from the side of the road in the middle of know where  on the way to a mine to see if that would help, yep i am man hear me roar comes to mind YUK !
Anyway so he UN clogged himself then we had Boof not feeling well when i picked him up from school, we made it to the hotel and Boof says to me "mum quick i need to get out of the car" so i hurried him out of the car and just as he steps out of the car YEP you guessed it POWER spew in the middle of the driveway, the porter and security guys were standing there, poor Boof so sick, then we move over to the garden "hey bud in the garden" a bit of practise for later life i thought :) and then before we reach the garden yep you guessed it power spew number 2 in the driveway- so we made it up stairs and he slept and spewed all night.

2 nights later Master T up at 12 vomiting in the toilet high temps, sore tummy POOR little guys.
Then yep you guessed it Buddha, 1 night after that Sky rocketing high temps, wouldn't eat and started this BARK and massive wheeze, so we asked around the ex pats for a doc and got the number of a lovely nurse that runs the ex pat clinic.
i was very apprehensive to what i was going to walk in to, being a border line 3rd world country i was expecting to walk into a hospital with people on stretches in the hall ways and really dirty etc etc.....
BUT we got better medical care than at home, the hospital was great, the facilities were great and the service and attention was A1. i could not fault it at all!
So back to Buddha, after seeing 2 doctors we settled on bronchitis! i was ultra worried as last time he had it we were in hospital for 2 weeks, but the doctor said i had been doing everything right so far, so we persevered over night he got way worse and so we went back and had some physio done, got lent a nebuliser  and i did that for 2 nights and he improved so much then he cut 2 top teeth. so big week for little Buddha! (and mummy) I'm exhausted..... Next i finally get to go to Majesties woot woot

Toilet paper issues

OK so iv seen a squatter toilet last time i was here, in the airport that's all they had.

BUT when you go to the malls, you kind of forget where you are, like I'm talking BSB mall is 4 stories high has 2 kids play grounds a video arcade, movie theaters in English, and loads of shops.

So we were up stairs in this massive department store (like grace brothers ) and Buddha was asleep, and master T says i need to go to the toilet, rito well i left the Nappie bag and Buddha with Dr Wendy and went down 2 floors to the toilet with master T and  Boof, they each went in a cubical, and i hear "mum, can you pass me some toilet paper?" i reply "sure bud" OK so here i am with a cleaner watching me search every cubical for paper ( they have a full time cleaner in each toilet they never leave the toilet crazy huh but more on this later) and yep u guessed it NO PAPER...hmmmm what to do , no nappy bag, ummm yep GREAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so there was the hummmmm hose option or just pull em up and ride it out, well if he used the hose how was i to dry him with no toilet paper? so i say "bud just pull up your undies and shorts and we will sort it later " hahahaha omg poor little bugger.

SO we learnt a lesson on this day, NEVER i SAID NEVER go to the toilet even if it looks western without toilet paper,wipes or tissue!!!!

Now i know why all the Lady's have massive rolls of toilet paper in their hand bags :)